when wonder turns into fear

When we’re young,
we don’t need certainty to feel excited.

We just need possibility.

But somewhere along the way,
the unknown stopped being magical.
And started feeling dangerous.

This is anticipation anxiety —
✧ When your nervous system associates newness with threat
✧ When the future feels like it’s already judged you
✧ When you don’t plan out of vision — you plan out of defense

And it makes sense.
Because you’ve had enough dreams fizzle.
Enough plans fall apart.
Enough hope turn into hurt.

So now, instead of leaning into possibility —
you brace for impact.

Even if nothing is wrong.
Even if everything is fine.
You freeze anyway.
You stand still for years.
And wonder why you feel disconnected from your own life.

But what if this isn’t a flaw?
What if this is just a signal —
that your nervous system needs a new story for the future?

Not one built on safety.
One built on spark.

✧ quiet prompt:

What part of you still believes new = danger?

🌒 go deeper:

→ read: anticipation anxiety, nervous system threat response & positive projection decay → chapter: decoding