anticipation anxiety & positive projection decay

There’s a reason new beginnings feel threatening,
even when they should feel exciting.

It’s called anticipation anxiety —
✧ A nervous system response that treats the unknown as dangerous
✧ Often triggered by past disappointment, trauma, or prolonged stress
✧ You lose the ability to emotionally project positive outcomes — even if they’re possible

This is linked to a pattern called positive projection decay:
✧ When your mind used to imagine joy, success, connection
✧ But now imagines failure, pain, or nothing at all
✧ You stop dreaming forward — you only plan to survive

You may also experience:
✧ Future fatigue (“why bother?”)
✧ Identity pause (“I don’t know who I’d be if things changed”)
✧ Freeze response in moments of choice or opportunity

🧠 Why it happens:
✧ Your nervous system remembers past letdowns more vividly than hope
✧ It builds protection around you by muting forward motion
✧ But it accidentally mutes aliveness too

💡 The shift begins not with a leap — but with a flicker.
✧ A small risk
✧ A soft beginning
✧ A memory of a time you felt lit up — even if it was just trying on an outfit for your first day

That spark isn’t gone.
It’s just waiting for safety to stop being your only setting.

✧ soft anchor:

You don’t need to be fearless.
You just need to remember that joy is worth moving toward again.

🌒 return to memory:

→ read: i used to be excited for what’s next
→ reflect: when wonder turns into fear